Come dear children, come gather round.
And I will tell you a tale of how championships are lost and found.
On one side of the fence there is a team.
Its name is a fizzy drink that gives both pep and steam.
The riders are different, so different indeed.
In attitude for sure, but also in speed.

There is Kangaroo Jack, the old rubberface.
And of course Helmuts Wunderkind, so young of days.
Mr Finger they called him because he likes to win.
He then shows off his index with the largest grin.

What a strange shadow on this photo? Click to enlarge 😉

On the other side the red cars are poised in view.
Their heritage is legendary and their fans are true.
But the time came when the great team strayed from their path.
To the golden cow they bowed down in the name of cash.
They chose one rider to lead the team.
His past was tattered with scandals so mean.

His heart is as dark as the blackest night.
If you gazed right into it, you would have a serious fright.
Some say that his very soul is sold.
Because incredible luck seems to follow no matter where he goes.
His suit is crimson and there on his chest,
the words of SAnTANder can clearly be read.


His teammate is brave and has a big heart.
Though no one accused him of being smart.
Sunshine was spread where ever he went.
But that was only until that fateful spring was sent.

Now a cloud so dark and gloom,
have descended upon him promising only doom.
His fate is sealed. The glory is gone.
He must now always follow suit to Ferraris “number one”.

The year rolled rolled around and lo and behold,
the fizzy drink chariots were out of this world.
So fast and stable it seemed untrue.
They stuck to the track like the tires had glue.

People started whining and said “it cant be!”
“Look at those wings, they bend like my knee!”
So the FIA changed the rules, which was quite sad,
trying to wipe out all the advantage they had.
Two fat guys were put on top of those wings.
But did they break? No, they just kept on ruling like kings.

But here, my dear children, is where my tale turns sour.
Because ’tis real life and not Sesame Street or happy hour.
The fizzy wing cars they flew and they flew,
but what does it help when they are as fragile as poo.
The higher they soared the harder they fell.
The engines didnt last, no they went to hell.

Mr Newey had the cars wrapped up so tight.
He had left no place for error, no room in sight.
So when the peppy cars grew wings that made their rivals scoff,
a cruel twist of fate clipped them right off.
Bound for victory, a triumph so sure.
The technical gremlins turned it all to manure.

So now we are left with a truth so dark.
The championship would already have been for Seb or even Mark.
But alas, the evil one will triumph and the tale will be told.
Of how the unjust prevail, and the brave will fold.
A hero we look for, yes we are in dire need.
The future of F1 is grim indeed.

There once was a time when the Man of Ice ruled supreme.
But he was too good for the sport, so he decided to leave.
He now rolls around in the forests which he thinks is fun.
Yet, we yearn for the time when he was “The One”.
Now darkness have fallen and no hope is around.
Who can save us from this future that is only downward bound?

Yet, there is a glimmer of hope.
Maybe one man can bring us through and help us cope.
A Japanese prince filled with courage and zeal.
In Valencia he showed his banzai heart and balls of steel.
It made El banco shiver and yield his place.
His face turned yellow and was hid in disgrace.

In Suzuka we saw what we could not believe.
Overtakings so brave it was hard to perceive.
Will you bring balance to the Force, are you The One?
Can you see the Matrix when you dive into turn 1?
Your driving is outstanding, its pure Kung Fu.
Kamui, dont turn to the dark side, we believe in you.


What can I say? Second race this year that Alonso inherits a win from Vettel due to technical problems. Im gutted because its undeserved. But one can only blame Renault or Red Bull. Or both. They will throw away the championship this year. They have a car that is at least as superior as the Ferrari of 2004. Certainly more superior than even last years Brawn car. And they have squandered it. 75% on technical issues and 25% on driver errors. They have secured no less then 14 out of 17 pole positions! And Ferrari have only 2 pole positions with Alonso. And yet he is now leading the championship. Unbelievable. It boggles the mind how the incredible RBR6 will go down in history as the car that should have walked the drivers championship, but didnt.

The only hope Red Bull have now is to put all efforts behind Mark with Sebastian playing the supporting role. Then maybe, just maybe they can still salvage it. But I have serious doubts. Doubts in the leadership, in the reliability of the car and in Marks speed. Also – I have just read that Horner have said to BBC that he will continue to back both drivers. So there you go.

We were treated to a one and a half hour delay before the race started properly. It was entertaining enough once it got underway. Lots of stuff happening with people crashing and spinning. One of the highlights was seeing Schumacher excel in those conditions. Some great overtakings. What a strong 4th place he secured today.

Hamilton was amusing even under the safety car. When everybody else was saying how horrible the conditions were, he was busy screaming: “Come on, lets go! Its practically intermediates weather now!” That made me lol 😀 And later on when Vettel was complaining that he couldnt see his braking zone at turn 1, the McLaren team asked Lewis how the light was. “The light is fine”. End of. When you are in the car Lewis, you are perfect 😉 Try to stay that way.

Up at the front there is heartbreak. Webber decides to get onto the curb. That doesnt work well in wet conditions so he spins and takes out Rosberg in the process. Shame for Britney cause he had a really strong race going for him. He retired from 4th position. He could have easily ended up on the podium from there.

10 laps from the end, disaster strikes the fizzy drink team again. Scratching my eyes to try and take in what I am seeing, Vettel pulls off the track with another engine blown to smithereens. It doesnt happen that often to the Renault team, does it? It may be too easy an assumption to make but there seem to be a common denominator when it comes to fast but fragile cars. And that is Adrian Newey. 2005 was another championship that should have been walked by our own Kimi. But didnt – only due to reliabilty woes. The 2005 McLaren was Adrian Neweys work of course. Ironically, Alonso picked up the pieces and crumbs back then and won the championship.

Now we have a similar situation. Alonso and others are picking up the crumbs when the fast but fallible Newey-designed Red Bull cars disintegrate in one way or another.

A cheerier side of the Korean race was seeing Kobayashis battle with the Force Indias. Especially the one where he lured Sutil to brake way too late for turn 1 and he then snatched his place when Sutil went wide. A great 8th place finish for a rookie in very very difficult conditions. Now we know for sure he has rain smarts as well.

Im gonna wrap it up here. In 2 weeks it goes down in Brazil. Mark Webber has to win there to keep his championship dreams alive. So does Hamilton. Their best hope is a bad race for Alonso. But I dont think he is going to throw away the lead he has now gained from the numerous mistakes of his competitors.


Webber for his unprovoked spin. It is probably going to be a very very costly mistake. With Vettels imminent engine failure, he would have won the race.


Vettel. Due to the fact that he drove a fantastic weekend and was in full control of the race until his engine gave out.
Hamilton deserves a mention too for his attitude alone. 2nd place is a good result in a car that struggled with front end grip and he can still potentially win the title.


Tough one. Pretty darn boring waiting for 1,5 hours. But still lots of actions when it got underway. I will give it a 6 out of 10.

Soren says: If you cut us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? And if you poison us, do we not die?

Images © Bridgestone/Ercole Colombo, KAVO, http://www.mclaren.com, Getty Images/Red Bull

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  1. Victoria Chapelow says:

    Loooooooove this Blog Soren 😉 the Poetry Is Awesome! x

  2. Shaurya says:

    Love your work man… and this one was simply sublime.
    Keep writing.. you’re a star! 🙂

  3. Ida Hasnan says:

    STANDING OVATION TO YOU SOREN!!! SUPER!! I loooveeeeeeee yr rhythmic poetry style story!! Its brilliant.. and i have to mentioned this, BOLD THIS PART please… heheh.. “There once was a time when the man of Ice ruled supreme. But he was too good for the sport, so he decided to leave.
    He now rolls around in the forests which he thinks is fun. Yet, we yearn for the time when he was “The One”.


    ps: the shadow on alonso was brilliant eyy.. 😉

    Keep flying Soren!!

    Hugsy, Ida

  4. laffen says:

    I really do fancy your work of art, Søren -thanks. “Peer Gynt” of Ibsen hardly compares! The brilliant “fuck up” being just one day away, Laffen is still too pissed off to really go into the matter this time. Well, I guess it is true what they say about french cars…

  5. Pingback: THE WONDROUS CASE OF SEBASTIAN VETTEL AND RBR 2011 | WRC and F1 Race Reviews

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